Fade into the Background
by yintotheyang
Summary: Johnny has his worst nightmare and decides to change his life because of it. Set to the song, Fade into the Background by Ne-Yo.


A/N – Alright, another one shot set to a song. This song is by Ne-Yo and is called _Fade into the Background_. I hope you all enjoy! This is dedicated to Faith who requested an update, but I hope this is a good substitute! Please leave me a review so I know what you think!

**Fade into the Background**

_She looks so good in that white dress_

_At the far end of the aisle_

_Standing where I should be standing_

_Some other man on his face there's a smile_

Lulu came through the doors and Johnny's breath left his body. She was a vision in that dress. That long, flowing, silk dress. Strapless and hugging all of her curves and leaving a train of silk behind her on the ground as she slowly walked down the aisle. Every step was in perfect sync with the music and she seemed to be floating on air. She was an angel.

But not Johnny's angel.

Dante stood at the end of the aisle, waiting for Lulu, that familiar smug grin on his face and Johnny wanted to be sick. He had no right to feel it. He had no right to think it as Lulu slowed at Dante's side. But it didn't stop him. As Lulu took Dante's hand all Johnny could think, scream on the inside, was that it should be him instead.

_I just walked in sat down silent_

_I stood outside for awhile_

_Wondering why did I come here_

_Face it you messed up and now she's with somebody else_

Johnny slipped out of the church as the two exchanged vows. It was entirely too much for him to handle. He took a seat out in the foyer, trying to take a deep breath. A deep cleansing breath was what he needed. Then maybe he wouldn't feel so much like dying.

He headed outside to try and get some fresh air, wondering if that would give him some peace of mind. He knew it wouldn't, though. Nothing would ever help him now that the love of his life was marrying someone else. Why did he go to the wedding? Why did he accept the invitation?

Why was he punishing himself?

He laughed painfully at the thought. That's what it was. He was punishing himself for his own mistakes that led him to this day. He had done everything wrong. Made every wrong choice he could possibly make. He was to blame and he wanted to be punished for what he had done.

_And now all I can do is smile_

_And fade into the background_

_I'll say congratulations _

_And I'll fade into the background_

Johnny stood outside as the happy couple came out of the church doors and headed for the car that would take them to the reception. He didn't know anything better to do other than plaster a fake smile onto his face as his heart was crushed to pieces. He just wanted to disappear.

Everyone yelled out in excitement and he heard his own voice participating in the activity. The fake smile still firmly in place. He watched as the car drove away and towards the Metro Court and he sighed, but only to himself. He just wanted to disappear.

To fade into the background.

_Such a lovely reception_

_I sit here sipping Ros__é_

_Then we catch eyes for a second_

_Both of us smile then quickly look away_

Johnny had to admit Carly had gone all out for her cousin. The ballroom at the Metro Court looked absolutely beautiful. He knew that Carly had been waiting for Lulu to get married so she could throw her a reception like this. A huge party that the entire town attended in honor of the most beautiful woman in Port Charles. Maybe that's why Johnny had come. Because Lulu asked him to and who was he to deny her anything she wanted after everything he had done.

He sat in his chair, watching people dance and sipping his champagne. A small part of him wanted to drink so much champagne that he would be able to forget every minute of this horrible day. But the other part of him, the self-loathing part, wanted him to remember every second. He wanted to remember how it felt to lose it all.

He drained the rest of his glass and took a chance at glancing at Lulu across the room from him. As if fate had taken over, their eyes met and held for the briefest second. A smile came to Johnny's face and to Lulu's as well. His smile was one of sadness and pain. This could be the last time she smiled at him like that. Like he was the only one in her heart and in her world. The truth was, she shouldn't have been smiling at him like that at all, but she did anyway. Maybe she knew he needed one last smile to hold on to for the rest of his life, so she gave it to him. She was always so considerate.

_It's funny you don't know what you got_

_Till you ain't got it no more_

_Put down my glass and grab the bottle_

_I throw it back and I shout she with somebody else now_

Johnny shook his head as their gaze faltered. She wasn't just considerate. She was everything. She was funny, spunky and his best friend. She was trusting, loving and overall perfect in every way. She was everything.

And she was gone.

Johnny headed for a waiter's table and grabbed an entire bottle of champagne. He disappeared behind the elevator doors and leaned back into the wall, everything catching up to him. Lulu had been his everything and he had completely taken her for granted. He hadn't been sure to savor every moment. He had lost the chance to cherish her. He truly did not know the value of the great love they shared until it was nothing more than a memory.

He downed the remainder of the bottle as he exited the elevator and subsequently the Metro Court lobby. Their love was so much more than a memory for him. It was an emotion he felt every day. Every time he thought of her, saw her or, on rare occasions, spoke to her.

The streets were completely empty so he felt no shame as he yelled out in his drunken stupor. He screamed at the top of his lungs in anguish. His Lulu was no longer his. She was with someone else. No. Not just with someone else. Married to someone who wasn't named Johnny Zacchara. It was all so wrong. So horribly, painfully wrong.

_And now all I can do is smile_

_And fade into the background_

_I'll say congratulations_

_And I'll fade into the background_

His screams halted as he saw Lulu exit the Metro Court with Dante close behind. The bird seed was swarming them both as they ran towards their limousine. His face involuntarily twisted into his fake smile and he watched the doors to the limo close. He just wanted to disappear.

Everyone cheered as they raced off toward their honeymoon destination and Johnny yelled his happy wishes as the car sped past him. He couldn't help it. It may have been very wrong for Lulu to be with anyone else, but he did want her happy. Even if it killed him because they weren't together, he wanted her happy. The pain closed in on him as he realized she was happy, but he would never be again. He just wanted to disappear.

To fade into the background.

_Fade right into the background_

He heard someone calling him, but apparently he was getting his wish because he couldn't answer them. Not that he wanted to. He just wanted to fade away to a world where Lulu was not married to Dante or to anyone other than himself.

_She's with somebody else_

_And now all I can do is smile_

_And fade into the background_

_I'll say congratulations and I'll fade into the background_

Johnny jumped awake with a start.

"What the hell?" he muttered to himself.

"Johnny, get your ass off this barstool!" a shrill voice demanded and Johnny looked up to see Maxie.

"Where's Lulu?" Johnny asked suddenly.

"At work," Maxie replied. "Why?"

"I need to see her," Johnny answered, steadying himself as he jumped to his feet.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Maxie started but Johnny put a hand up.

"You don't know what I know," Johnny smiled. "I still have time. I have time to stop it."

"To stop what?" Maxie wondered.

"To stop myself from fading into the background," Johnny answered and was out the door.

"I hope that wasn't supposed to make sense to me," Maxie mumbled to herself.

Johnny didn't care what Maxie thought or what Lulu would say when he first talked to her. In fact, he expected it to take a long time to gain Lulu's trust back, but he was going to do it. He was going to get her trust and love back. He was going to get her back.

He raced to the Metro Court and swerved into the parking lot. He hurried into the lobby and opted to take the stairs to Crimson, assuming it would be faster. Pushing open the door to Crimson, he practically fell into the office, making Lulu jump up from her desk.

"I don't want to fade into the background," Johnny blurted out and Lulu just stared at him, a small smile curving on her lips.

"Okay," Lulu nodded.

"That came out wrong," Johnny said, taking a deep breath.

"So you do want to fade into this mysterious background?" Lulu teased, laughing slightly. She didn't know what Johnny was doing at Crimson, but she had a strange feeling that she hadn't had in awhile. Hope.

"No," Johnny laughed. "No, I don't."

"Okay, so why don't you try telling me what it is you came here for," Lulu said patiently.

"I came here because I don't want to fade into the background," Johnny said again, then continued, "of your life. I want to be in your life, the way I used to be before I got so afraid of you losing yourself because of me or of me hurting you so much that you hated me. I was so afraid of so many things, but I realize now that what I fear most is waking up everyday for the rest of my life and not seeing your face."

"Wow," Lulu breathed.

"I know it's a lot to take in, but you should know that I'm willing to wait as long as it takes," Johnny promised. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get you back."

"To not fade into the background," Lulu said with an understanding nod.

"Exactly," Johnny whispered.

"Well, I'm free tonight for dinner," Lulu smirked. "We've never been good with planned dates, but maybe we could work on that, too."

"Anything for you," Johnny smiled and then his face turned serious. "I know that you've been seeing someone..."

"Why do people keep saying that?" Lulu asked to no one in particular.

"What do you mean?" Johnny wondered.

"Johnny, I'm going on a date with you tonight and only you for every other night as long as we're both honest with each other this time," Lulu replied.

"Really?" Johnny asked with a smile.

"Don't doubt me," Lulu said, poking a finger in his chest and trying to hide a smile.

"Never again," Johnny swore, catching her hand and kissing it tenderly. "You're strong and beautiful and absolutely, positively perfect for me. And-"

"Shut up," Lulu said, shaking her head. "Just kiss me."

"And sexy as hell when you're demanding," Johnny smirked, kissing her lips tenderly.

Johnny held Lulu closer and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He felt like the luckiest man on earth because he had been given another chance to love the woman of his dreams. And this time he would get it right.

Because he refused to fade into the background.


End file.
